Hornsby's Hard Apple Cider

Boy, oh boy, do I have a treat for you. My good buddy Chris has agreed to do hard cider reviews. Chris, due to genetic anomolies, is allergic to wheat, thus traditional beer makes him quite ill (perish the thought).

So here is his first review, forwarded on to you, dear reader, by me, Kenji.

Hornsby’s Hard Apple Cider

3/19

First of all, I would like to praise Hornsby’s for its availability, which is no doubt due to its status as a subsidiary of Gallo wineries. As one for whom it is physically unwise to drink beer and who has bad things happen to him when he chugs wine, it is nice to have an alternative alcoholic beverage that I can consume at the same rate as those drinking beer around me. I often find myself at a random supermarket, little country store, or hole-in-the-wall bar in search of a low-percentage alcoholic beverage that won’t send me into convulsions. More often than not, Hornsby’s is what I find. More often than not, it’s not that good.
Hard ciders tend to fall under two extremes: those that are so fruity that you think you’re drinking fruit juice (perhaps with an infusion of molten Jolly Ranchers), and those that are extremely dry—even beer-like—and refer back to their fruit origins more subtly and primarily in the aftertaste. Hornsby’s falls somewhere in between these two extremes, and does not come out the better for it. It has a mildly sweet apple flavor not unlike the apple juices they sell at fast food restaurants, but with a somewhat unpleasant- tasting alcoholic flavor reminiscent of rubbing alcohol. The aftertaste suggests rubbing alcohol first, apples second—no surprises here. Sip it and you’ll get sick of it after a while, chug it and you’ll get sick of it sooner but find yourself with a bit of a buzz (don’t forget, its alcohol content is 6.4%).

Sure you’ll be able to find Hornsby’s without looking too hard, making it suitable as a safety cider, but at the end of the day how can you be sure that you’re not getting buzzed by some old Treetop apple juice spiked with rubbing alcohol?

WDTB? Rhino lovers: a Rhino is on the logo—it’s called ‘HORN’-sby’s after all—and to our knowledge no rhinos were harmed in the making of this beverage. Girls under the misapprehension that this is a desperate non-beer-drinkers’ “girly” drink. Middle school alcoholics (we know you’re out there).

WSDTB? The makers of this beverage, so they can taste this monstrosity for themselves and improve upon the formula.

Who Doesn’t Drink This Beer? Guys under the misapprehension that this is a “girly” drink. A friend of a friend who brews cider to 10-14%, thus making it a non-“girly” drink. The English.

Rating: 3.9/10

***I can't find any homepage for Hornsby's, which is super strange. Ah, Fuck it.***

Hitachino Nest White Ale

My brother Raf and I are going to try to make bloging history here, simultaneous food/beverage review postings by siblings. Actually I have no idea if we are the first to do that, checking on that would require work, and you know I tend to avoid that. But anyhow go to the Get Him Eat Him review.

So here is a live review of Hitachino Nest White Ale, which my father kindly surprised me with a bottle of as a gift. There were two others in the set; they will be blogged soon, no fear.

This ale is pale gold in color, but cloudy, apparently unfiltered (I tend to avoid reading the labels until after, they tell you what they want you to think, whereas I prefer to form my own opinion first. I’ll check on it’s filtration later). It maintained an excellent head for a lighter beer, with foam sticking around for a long time, a good sign.

The nose is floral, with a little bit of sweetness and a hint of grapefruit, giving it a nice crispness. I’m also picking up a little spice way at the back, but I can’t place it now.

The flavor is very bright, with many interesting notes, a veritable flavor extravaganza, easily the best white ale I have ever had. I think the only other white ale I’ve imbibed is that horrid Blue Moon. There isn’t a lot of flavor in the start; all the intriguing bits come in the middle. There isn’t a lot of mouth feel, this is a pretty light beer, and perhaps a bit over carbonated, as the start seems to be completely obscured by the bubbles in your mouth. So maybe the start is neat too, I just don’t know yet. I suppose I could wait until it gets flat, I just don’t want to. The odd thing is here I waited a couple minutes after pouring before I started drinking and it is still noticeably over carbonated.

Ok, I decided the spice note was coriander.

The finish is sour. I think it is too sour, as it lingers a little too long and can overpower the next sip. The sourness is citrusy, and is necessary to balance the other notes earlier in the flavor profile, but by it self it is a bit much.

Repeat drinkability is moderate. I would like another, but I’m not that disappointed that there are no more Hitachino Nest White Ales in the house.

WDTB? An extraordinarily good question, as I believe my father bought these at Uwajimaya, but I have no corroboration on that. Last time I checked these beers are very expensive, and unfortunately not worth the money for repeated drinking. However if I were in Japan and had this beer as an expensive option (as opposed to a prohibitively expensive option) I would totally go for it, as it is vastly superior to all other Japanese beer I have ever had.

WSDTB? Japanese people. Anyone deeply infatuated with white ales, a group I do not count myself one of. Anyone who needs to prove that Japan can produce a good beer, as opposed to decent, which is as far as Kirin/Sapporo/Asahi ever gets.

Rating: 8.4/10, with the caveat that those who really enjoy white ales would rate this around 9.1.

Oooh, oooh, time to check my palate. Ok, read the bottle... The bottle is almost entirely in Japanese. Hmm... OK, go to the website. Adjuncts: Coriander (I so fucking rule at this game), orange peel (ok I admit I said grapefruit because saying citrus all the time without choosing which citrus I meant is lame, and grapefruit sounds neater than lemon, might not have guessed orange, was considering being extraordianarily snobbish and saying Yusu, a neat Japanese citrus fruit, but decided against it), and nutmeg (which I missed).